We met for the first time, got to know each other and had dinner together. I chose to drink only because I wasn't hungry. We sat face to face.
I said, "Sorry that I let you wait!"
He replied, "It's okay. Not so long as I waited,"
I said later, "There are times when I have to wait. It's been a long time. Two or more years, I have to continue studying abroad. Nobody asks. I just want to,"
He asked, "Where campus will you go?"
I replied, "In Australia. Curtin University, majoring in Electrical. Still looking for opportunities also at Murdoch University, take an MBA,"
He responded, "Wow, that's good ..."
In my heart I said, "Maybe sooner I'll be asking you not to leave me first because you are living here, in this heart. Ah, why is this so difficult?"
He continued his sentence, "Take whatever is best for you! Can I leave for a while?"
I answered briefly, "Yes!"
Shortly thereafter, he was in front of the mirror, washing his hands in the sink.
He hissed slowly, "For you, that's the way it is. Something just like that,"
It's like I heard the voice, then inhale.
I murmured, "So you're not willing to light the pathway I choose. Apparently, I still have to walk alone. Even though I don't need someone to always be by my side. I just need to know that we're like-minded,"
He sat down again. It seems like he could read my anxiety or maybe he could hear my murmur even though it's not clear.
He said curtly, "I know enough about the way,"
He smiled. I forced myself to smile. We were silent for a long time.
Then I asked, "On the right side of your shirt, what does the jargon mean?"
He replied, "This? Yes, as you know, the industry where I work is so competitive. So, it needs to be distinctive. The jargon is distinctive, isn't it?"
I responded, "Hmm ... interesting!"
He chuckled. I think my cheeks blush. My hand just pointed to his right chest.
He concluded, "Whatever you take, I'm sure you can,"
I admire him. He is gorgeous and smart. His eyes are beautifully framed by thick eyebrows and minus glasses. He said goodbye, went home. I saw him leaving me, but still felt he was in front of me. Shortly thereafter, I also went home. When I got home, I couldn't close my eyes that night. I thought about him. I don't think I started it as it's best. I tried to forget it, but I couldn't.
I type a short message in a communication application, "Can we meet again?"
He replied, "Sure! Just tell me when!"
We don't make sure when. I doubt it. I remembered his words in our conversation on a dating application.
I said, "Maybe I lost something or someone before I had it, but I knew I could hold on,"
"Who's losing? What is called losing is after having."
Our chats fluttered until the first meeting arrived. I don't necessarily agree to explain the possibilities. There is a mess that happens. If he doesn't belong to me, at least I won't regret later ... that I have fallen in love.
