Selasa, 04 Desember 2018

I Tried To Love The Day With Or Without Him

Missing, what should I say about what they call separation? After all, this is like the first lantern glows when it is still too early to face the day. I don't think that I'm fine just to agree by saying "OK". We just met. There is a hope, we are MFEO. I tried ... to love the day with or without him.

Why should I hold back from longing? He never forbade me to meet him. He had a lot of free time. I'm overwhelmed to get ready to meet him. What can I do? Miserable! Ah, write ... just write. Write anything, include this feeling.

Can I still run from the fact that the "crush" happens? I take a deep breath. I am tired. What I know is I only persevere to stay "grounded". We reached out, we just looked at each other and talked. When we moved away, I felt he was still around even though I rarely visited the place where we met.

This is an unexplained emptiness. I look at the clock ticks. I don't know how many seconds I was shocked. Maybe 57 seconds. The time isn't trying to conquer the feeling I have.

I'm not running away. I'm just trying to understand. Understand the ambiguous sentences that I often hear around, include what he ever said. The words he said were similar, but it was deeper, "You are cheerful, then fade in void."

Hopefully I don't regret it. I had delayed, then planned to ask question in this matter to him next time, "Will it be the same, my feelings towards someone who left every possibility with someone's feelings towards me that ensured all destination?"